How to Make Relationships Work with Long Distance or Opposite Schedules
Disclosure: This page may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, but this is at no additional cost to you. Before we got married and whilst preparing for the big day as young year-olds, a counselor told us that relationships are hard, require work and are all about compromise. Then shift work entered our lives!
Working opposite schedules requires planning and communication. Set aside times for in-depth and meaningful conversation. The little things do matter and know your relationship can thrive.
It’s time to schedule it back into your day, by time tracking life with your loved one. time with your significant other, it can actually be the opposite. Don’t just schedule a date night, start to schedule all the real time you spend.
Paula Abdul said it’s true in her ’90s jam “Opposites Attract,” and that’s enough science for me. Well, that and the fact that every single person I have ever dated has been my total opposite , including the person I eventually married. Being opposites with your partner isn’t a big deal. Sure, it’s annoying sometimes, especially when you’d rather play in traffic than watch another murder-themed reality TV show, but with some good communication skills and a willingness to compromise, you just might discover that dating your total opposite is basically the best thing ever.
Because while you may joke that you’d love to date yourself, you’d probably not get along. Let’s face it, there’s only room for one you in the relationship, and you already have that covered. On a serious note, when couples came to see me for advice during my time as a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Planned Parenthood Certified Responsible Sexuality Educator, many of them thought their differences were an immovable mountain.
In reality, they just needed some tips, attitude changes, and a little more willingness to see things from another perspective. So if you’re dating your opposite and scratching your head about how it’s ever going to work out, fear not.
How to Deal with Opposite Work Schedules? (Kind of long, sorry)
Sign Up. Sign Up Now. Learn More. Dating can be a very fun and exciting experience that can sometimes lead to a life long relationship with a loved one.
But if your schedules are extremely different, a compromise may not be possible. two of you—this might mean, for example, scheduling a regular date night.
Keeping a relationship together in the age of ghosting , Tinder and instant gratification can be hard enough. I found this out for myself when just two months after we moved in together, my boyfriend started working late-night shifts. Two years later, he still works nights. We’re still together, but the adjustment has been a big learning curve, not just for us as a couple, but for me personally.
I’ve spoken to other people in similar situations, and our experiences tend to follow the same patterns. So if you and your partner are going from spending every second together to barely ever seeing each other, here are four things to expect:. I’m not the most outgoing person on the planet, so as a fairly introverted person, I was never completely averse to alone time. Initially, I didn’t like the thought of spending every single night alone. The reality quickly set in that there would be no shared dinners each evening, no spontaneous after-work drinks for the two of us and no waking up together in the mornings for a quick coffee before heading to work.
You know what, though? I surprised myself. Slowly but surely, I started to enjoy the time alone and see it as a luxury not everybody is lucky enough to experience regularly. They say that your own space is key to a happy relationship and personal growth, and I’ve found that to be completely true. I still love our weekends and snatched moments of time together, but I’ve learned to be happy cooking for myself, eating alone, doing things at my own pace and having the time to do the things that are important to me.
9 Ways To Stay Connected If You & Your Partner Go To Sleep At Different Times
When it comes to being in a relationship, spending time together is key. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly four years, and we face the challenge that our schedules have never aligned. Whether it was a full-time load at school or graveyard shifts at work, it was rare for our days off or schedules to be completely in sync.
Even though my boyfriend and I live in the same area, having drastically different schedules can often make it feel like we are a world apart. It can even feel worse when the holidays roll around or you find yourself being on your own for outings more commonly than not. Keeping an open and honest line of communication ensures the two of you will always be on the same page.
Making Marriage Work with an Opposite Schedule. Family· Marriage W don’t get to go out as often as we like on a date. But when it does.
Sign up for our newsletter to get more tips and tricks. It looks like you’re new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons! My Cart. Like what you see? February in Non-hair discussion. Have any of you ever dated a guy that had a completely different work schedule than you? How did it work and can it be done? I’m seeing this guy who works Wed – Saturday and usually doesn’t get off until anywhere from a.
His days off are Sunday and Monday, and sometimes he works Tuesdays and sometimes not. I’m just wondering if anyone else has ever done this? February Neither of us want to go when it’s time lol It can be done, but it’s not an ideal situation, that’s for sure.
Dating & different schedules
Working opposite shifts can be hard. This probably goes without saying. Watch a movie together or get into a tv series together. Talk about your day.
Dating Opposite Schedules. Ghosting of age the in together relationship a · Keeping Relationship a in being to comes it When schedule? same the have don’t.
This can wreak havoc on your relationship, but only if you let it. In every relationship compromises are necessary, and this might be a big one. However, don’t let it come down to comparing which job is more “important” or “stressful” because nobody’s going to win. Every job is important, stressful, and has pros and cons.
Obviously the best thing you can do is try to work towards a schedule that’s a little more forgiving, but what if that’s not possible? You can still make it work with the right attitude and a few adjustments. After all, this isn’t a real crisis and there are couples who work in different countries for years but still nourish their marriage. Here are a few ways to get by:. Chances are, there are at least a couple of hours per week where neither of you need to be sleeping and your schedules overlap.
Do you spend this zoning out in front of screens, running errands, or doing different tasks in different rooms? Make the most of any time you have together, and try to think of this like all the good parts of an illicit affair: You wouldn’t spend precious time with a lover picking up groceries, would you? Carve out 15 minutes every week to talk in person about concerns, issues around the house, parenting troubles and anything else that requires action.
Anything more than 15 minutes, outside of a genuine crisis of course, is not helpful.
Working Opposite Schedules as Your Chef/Husband
He works evenings on the weekdays and throughout the weekends. Whenever we get time together we make sure that we are focused on one another. We take advantage of our time together by having meals at the table instead of on the couch in front of the TV. This is what I look forward to most evenings, catching up and talking about our days. When Dave is away on the weekends coaching, it can get lonely every now and again.
Though it’s nice to be able to date someone whose work schedule meshes with yours almost perfectly, not every couple has that luxury.
Finding time together when you have opposite schedules can be a huge challenge. The logistics of life make it difficult for you to have quality relaxation time together. You have all the obligations of work, family, friends, pets, chores around the house and more. Ultimately, the opposite-schedule situation has its pitfalls and its perks. A random, unexpected instant message from them makes your day. You end up calling each other back and forth but missing each other.
It can be super complicated to coordinate real-time communication when your schedules are so opposed. You have to bond over those few spare hours when you get to watch tv together. From time to time, you have to scrap other plans and make sacrifices just to spend a little more time your significant other. You realize just how happy you are to see them in person when you do.
It actually makes you stronger as a couple because you always want more from each other.
What Happens When You And Your SO Work Different Times
The majority of Americans—60 percent—sleep in a bed with someone else. In fact, women and men often have different sleep cycles. Women tend to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier than men—and the difference can be up to two hours. Unfortunately, this can cause issues not just in the quality of sleep that you get it can be tough to drift off at night or stay asleep in the morning when you hear your partner moving around or watching TV but also in your relationship, since different sleep habits lead to less time spent together.
For instance, if you like to go to bed at pm, but your husband likes to go to bed at pm, perhaps you can both make slight adjustments and compromise on a pm bedtime.
Whether it was an EMT or Emergency Veterinary Technician, Chris and I have always been on opposite schedules. We rarely get to see each.
Subscribe to our newsletter. Eileen is a Korean-American photographer who lives in Paris with her boyfriend, a French native. Aside from cultural and familial divides, the pair — on paper — seem to have very little common. Professionally, the couple also lead very different lives. Opposites have been attracting through the ages: the introvert and the extrovert, the artist and the logician, the world traveler and the homebody.
According to Rachel A. Accept who they are. What are you doing all day? Show respect. And having a sense of humor about your differences helps — however, one that is always respectful and never mean-spirited. Maintain interest.
How to Live Happily When You and Your Partner Have Opposite Schedules
Everyone loves a cliffhanger, huh? I guess I waited too long for Part II, though, as I got a few emails asking me to update the story that began in my last post about waiting to be dumped. Ah, yes. Thoughtful texted me around that night to ask if he could call me after my kids went to bed. Finally, after much angry ranting inside my head about the delay, my phone rang.
So how can they sleep in the same bed on such different schedules? the opposite effect, resulting in a delayed sleep schedule (moving it.
Last Updated: March 29, References Approved. To create this article, volunteer authors worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 68, times. Learn more Sometimes, you and your partner may have jobs that require you to work opposite shifts. Such situations can make communication and finding quality time together difficult, but there are ways to maintain a strong relationship regardless of the shifts you each work.
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